Wedding Ring Effect

Wedding ring talk in un momento…

Lunch

One of the best (and worst) parts about having people over is all the food that remains once the party is over. Of course I’m more than excited about the leftover goodies, but having lots of cookies, chips and dip around the house makes our apartment a very tempting place to live.

Today I brought a lot of the remaining goodies from our weekend BBQ into work for the freegans to enjoy.

I did not, however, relinquish certain dishes, such as the light Italian pasta salad (made with Mueller’s rotini twists) which I enjoyed for lunch today.

Light Italian Pasta Salad

Along with the pasta salad, I enjoyed tuna salad for a punch of protein.

Tuna Salad

My tuna salad contained:

  • 1 can tuna
  • 1 tbsp. light Miracle Whip
  • 1 tbsp. Dijon mustard
  • Chopped celery
  • Chopped green pepper
  • Cherry tomatoes

The two salads complimented each other perfectly and I am satisfied but not overly stuffed… Just the way I like to feel after a yummy lunch.

Mid-Day Monday Meal

Now for the wedding ring talk…

Wedding Ring Effect

In an article I read on PsychologyToday.com, the author discusses the “wedding ring effect,” which refers to the belief that married men who wear a wedding ring are more desirable to women.

The belief says that this effect occurs because:

  • A man who is married has already demonstrated the ability to commit to a long-term relationship
  • Another woman has found him desirable enough to make him her long-term mate, making him appear all the more desirable

To be honest, this makes me really sad. I hope that women (and men) can respect the sanctity of marriage and the relationship a married man has with his wife (and possibly his children) enough to lay off the lovin’ on those who are committed.

This got me thinkingโ€ฆ

Two Questions:

1. Do you find men who are in a relationship more attractive?

2. If you are married or engaged, do you feel like men started treating you differently once you had a ring on your finger?

To be honest, I think a lot of men don’t even notice a ring on a woman’s finger.

This past weekend at Beer Fest, I was approached by a guy who romantically referred to me as “Yellow Dress” (How sweet! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) and struck up a conversation about his friend who was talking about “the girl in the yellow dress.” I was nice but told him that I was engaged and pointed to my ring. I don’t think he (or his friend, apparently) even realized I had a ring on my finger.

Me & Ryan (After all the Engagement Craziness On the Night of Our Engagement)

On the other hand, I have had a guy (who I honestly thought was really interested in Sadie!) stop mid-conversation and say, “Oh, you have a ring,” and move along his merry way. (Sadie gave this particular guy the bob-and-weave treatment and didn’t let him pet herโ€ฆ I think she knew his intentions and stayed loyal to her daddy).

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the “wedding ring effect!” For some reason I find it so interesting because I’ve always been the kind of girl who immediately puts guys who are married (or even in a relationship) in an “off limits” category, though I can see how they might appear more attractive if a woman hears about how wonderful they are to their wife or girlfriend.

Feel free to weigh in! ๐Ÿ˜€

(I have to admit, while writing this post I’ve been singing “If you like it than you shoulda put a ring on it!” in my head over and over again.)

42 Responses

  1. I hear ya, girl! I totally agree – married = off limits. I have never thought otherwise. Why women want to put themselves (and another woman) in that terrible situation is beyond me!

  2. Sometimes I wish I had a ring just so I could point to it when guys approach me like that.

    I have never found a man with a ring more attractive. Way too sticky of a situation and just not right, or worth it.

    • no lie – i had a friend who purchased a fake ring when she was working as a bar tender for that exact reason. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Since my wedding ring is untraditional (no stones) a lot of people don’t realize I’m married. Hubby attracts a lot of female attention so I can’t say the ring works as a deterrant. An angry wife does wonders tho!

  4. This is such an interesting topic!! For me, seeing a guy with a wedding ring makes me think more of him as a person, and far less as a romantic interest. When I see a guy I think is attractive with a wedding ring, I immediately think he must be a nicer guy than his single counterparts. Not really a fair assumption, I know. I’m 100% against any kind of flirting or other action with people who are taken, but if I were in a situation where I needed help (like if my car broke down or something), I’d be way more comfortable if it were someone married who was helping me, because they’ve already proven they’re trustworthy! Not sure if all this makes sense haha!

  5. Married men are definitely off limits. I don’t find them anymore attractive, but I think subconciously maybe I have more respect for them. Possibly because I feel liek they must be mature and responsible enough if they’re in a marriage?

    It breaks my heart how many stories have come out in the media about husbands or wives being unfaithful in their marriage. As a society, everyone should have respect for that sacred union.

    But I agree, having a decoy ring would be nice in certain instances. It’s hard to tell how innocent a guy’s intentions are when they stop to talk to you. I never know at one point should I mention that I’m in a relationship. I don’t want to be rude by assuming the guy is making a pass!

  6. Popped in to say hi! I’ve seen a lot of girls go for married guys–they see how they treat their wives/ fiances, and they want that for themselves.

  7. i don’t know if i’ve ever noticed a difference, honestly. to me married men are off limits, and marriage isn’t something you mess with.

  8. I’m with you! Even if I wasn’t already married, a married man is totally off limits! Unacceptable to go after a married man, or woman for that matter. Since I’ve been engaged and married, I’ve noticed that on occasion, when a guy realizes I have a ring on the tone of the conversation/his approach will vary slightly.

  9. Wedding ring = off limits. Period. Sometimes men who are in a relationship may be more attractive because of ‘the chase’ factor but if he’s married, forget it!!! I’m married & didn’t notice a big difference in how men treated me before the ring vs after…

  10. i have a friend who’s engaged and every time a guy sees a ring on her finger he just completely stops talking to her mid sentence and moves on haha of course she doesn’t mind because she’s got the ring but still!

    i think it’s so rude when girls don’t care if a man is taken or not! like how would they feel if that was them!

    p.s. i’m eating the same tuna salad as you right now ๐Ÿ˜‰

  11. I know so many married couples that don’t wear wedding rings that I don’t think I even notice if someone’s wearing them anymore.

  12. I’m with you married = off limits. I hate how every gossip story in hollywood these days is about another married man having an affair.

  13. Since I am married, I have to admit I am attracted to ONE married man in particular (my husband! haha) I definitely think there are women out there that go for married men. You’ll come to find the most irritating question men will ask you (now that you have a ring) is when you say, “I’m married,” they’ll say, “Yea, but are you happily married?” I’m serious, this happens more than you’d think! I have found that if I immediately say “I’m happily married,” I’ve already blocked their first rude question from coming!!

  14. I have also heard that they are attractive, because they are “safe” – as in nothing will ever come of it. But once he follows through – is he still attractive?. Cheaters are not attractive in my book.

    I can put up with a female flirting with my husband…but I will not put up with him cheating on me. Or even encouraging her flirting.

  15. I don’t think of a guy as an more or less attractive because he is married but I do notice a ring and I do notice that a lot of guys don’t wear a ring.

  16. I think that is sooo ridiculous and shady for someone to want someone else who is already involved! That is sooo wrong! So no, I don’t find guys more attractive if they are taken.

    I know what you mean about all the goodies around. That’s when I bake, I immediately give half of it away or I will only bake “for a reason.” I can’t have all that goodness around either. Haha.

  17. Nah, I don’t really believe in the whole wedding ring effect thing either- to me, married guys might be just as attractive as unmarried ones. As soon as I find out that an attractive guy is married, (after getting a little frustrated inside first lol!) I then view them as off-limits.
    I’m loving the looks of your lunch!

  18. I don’t know if I really believe in the wedding ring effect. I’m attracted to one wedding ring, and that’s on my hubby’s finger ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m with you, Julie, in that I would like to think that if I was single and saw a man with a ring on his finger, then obviously he would not be for me. Just because I see another man with a ring on, doesn’t make him any more attractive to me.

    (P.S. – I started singing that song before I even scrolled down to see that you were too, lol!! I played that song at my wedding when I threw my bouquet!) ๐Ÿ˜‰

  19. Totally agree with you, Julie. I’m single & married guys are immediately in the “off limits” category. Honestly, I don’t know what is wrong with people! For me personally, that doesn’t even make sense. Who would want to be with someone who is MARRIED to someone else??? Hello?!?!

  20. I’ve been known to be be a little jealous that someone already “caught him” when I meet an awesome guy that already has a ring, but I wouldn’t say it makes me want them more. I’m with you – it puts them in an “off limits” category. I wouldn’t want someone to be attracted to a man that’s committed to me, and I certainly wouldn’t let myself be open to a man that is already committed to someone else.

    With that said, I actually never noticed when men have rings. I guess I’m still a little too young for that…

  21. Hmmm. . . I have to say the wedding ring effect is interesting. I”m not sure I think that I am more attracted to men who are married but I do think I as a single girl have a huge respect for married men. I also ten to feel like I look at them as hope that guys do grow up and do age well. SO I see rings as off limits – but as hope for my own future

  22. haha what a funny story! xx

  23. I donโ€™t think anyone pays attention to it either. There are times when Iโ€™ll skip wearing my ring one day (when between my fingers is chapped and peeling in the winter) and no one notices I donโ€™t have a ring on. I also havenโ€™t noticed more interest from guys since I got married. But if that is in fact true, Iโ€™m going to be sad, too. And then Iโ€™m going to get my husband a MARRIED tattoo on his forehead. Something tells me it wonโ€™t have the wedding ring effect.

  24. I echo Jessica’s post re: “yeah but are you happily married?”. I think when you are married but before you have children men who are interested might not be easily deterred by seeing a ring. And when you are engaged and not even married yet, I think men may think they still have a chance because you haven’t sealed the proverbial deal yet.

    Honestly, NOTHING surprises me anymore when it comes to infidelity and human behavior. I feel very lucky that I trust my husband and he trusts me, because if you wanted to find temptation or for it to find you, it would be very easy (as was demonstrated to you on Saturday!).

  25. That’s interesting….I’ve never felt like I’ve been treated differently by men since getting married. BUT– I could see something like the wedding ring being a turn on for men who like a “challenge,” as bad as that sounds.

    Having leftovers in the house is always hard– that’s a good idea to just take them into work and get rid of them!

  26. I’m single & a guy w/ a wedding band = a big nono! Funny you mention this b/c just recently I realized that I’m at an age (23) where you gotta check for rings! So sad that women would lower themselves to go after married men.

    PS…I have the recipe for Jimmy John’s tuna salad if you’re interested! ๐Ÿ™‚

  27. I absolutely believe this is true…sad but true. My husband admits he gets hit on WAY more now that he is married than when he was single. Maybe it has to do with the fact that he isn’t actively approaching woman and they like that? I have come out of the bathroom several times to find a girl trying to mack on my man lol. I just think it’s funny because I know at some point the, “I don’t think my wife would appreciate this” comes out of his mouth.

    To the other side of things I think you are right about women wearing a ring. Either men don’t notice or just don’t care because I get hit on just as much as I did before, if not more.

  28. hmm interesting questions! I dont find men any more attractive if they are in a relationship, I am not one of those gals thats “want what I cant have” type thing

    I think it depends on the type of man who strikes up a convo with a women with a ring…I have been approached before and I say “oh i have a bf” and they say “soooo, do you think I care” so I think the same will go for some men when they approach a woman who has a ring, some will care and some wont!!

  29. I’m with Lisa, I could use a fake ring until I get the real thing…I hate when guys are so sleezy!

  30. Loved reading all the comments! I always notice rings on women + men, but I do think a lot of men overlook them. I know for a fact though that a lot of women are more observant + are husband chasers!

  31. I don’t know if I agree with it (I have never been drawn to someone because they were already taken) but I can completely understand it and certainly wouldn’t be surprised if it were true. I hope people can just take the ring as a hint to just move on. I’m glad you posted about that- it was interesting. ๐Ÿ™‚

  32. I agree with you – the second that I find out a guy is married or in a relationship, he’s off limits.

    And I read up a bit further in the comments about a friend of yours who bought a fake ring to ward off unwelcome guys. I was working in the South of France one Summer and my boss bought some of us girls fake engagement rings to deter men from talking to us as a safety measure (they are notorious for being a bit “grabby” in this area). It really did work!

  33. I’ve seen (and briefly known) some women who find married men attractive. I can appreciate when a married man is good looking, but I am not attracted to him – if that makes sense? And I have seen more women flirt with my husband (or my friends’ husbands)… and I think it’s disappointing.
    On the other hand (no pun intended) – I have had guys stop talking to me in the middle of a conversation when they realize I have a ring on. But it usually takes me dropping the words “my husband” into the conversation before they notice the ring.

  34. Its so funny, sometimes if I’m at a bar without my bf I put a fake ring on my finger so guys don’t bother me. I guess it could work or do the complete opposite! ๐Ÿ™‚

  35. I am married and I love my husband to pieces! BUT, if I were single, I would definitely not want a guy with a ring on his finger. Because I would immediately think about his wife and his kids waiting for him at home or something. That’s just how I am. I wear a wedding band and I don’t think guys realize that I do at all. They still come over to me and talk to me and want to do stuff for me, and that just makes me feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to be wanted by another guy, eww! These days I guess you can’t really know if someone’s taken just by looking at their hands as many people wear rings on their ring fingers even when they’re single. It’s confusing I guess.

  36. Looks like a great salad! Even though tuna usually has two servings you eat the whole can!? You are so inspiring ๐Ÿ™‚

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: